


You're All That I Need, Underneath The Christmas Tree

by Phils_Constellation_Heart



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, M/M, and the tiniest bit written, if u have emetophobia theres mentions of gagging/throwing up, the ryan/ray is in the background a bit, theres some implied smut, this is also before jeremy shaved his head and trevor has blonde hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 14:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13526352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phils_Constellation_Heart/pseuds/Phils_Constellation_Heart
Summary: And as for holiday spirit? Forget about it. The only spirit he feels right now is his leaving his body every time Gavin smiles at him.Aka the one where Michael's stomach can't handle the thought of loving Gavin apparently.





	You're All That I Need, Underneath The Christmas Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first Mavin fic to be posted here! Of course it's a Christmas fic oops it's January BUT I DID START THIS IN DECEMBER OKAY. I'm really happy with the turnout of this one, and I hope you are too! Also, I think I caught all the spelling errors but ya know, if I missed one or two let me know!

“I’m not doing this.” 

Michael thought as he caught himself staring at Gavin for the 15th time today. He wasn’t even _doing_ anything. He was just sitting here, his stupid British face curled up into a stupid British smile that made his own stupid dead heart erupt into stupid fucking butterflies.

“Fuck.” He said aloud, burying his face into the garland he was holding. Jeremy looked over, raising an eyebrow. 

“You, me, this, what?” He asked. 

“Him.” 

“Just don’t do it on my gifts.” The shorter man took the garland out of Michael’s hands and walked over to Jack, handing it to him. Michael plopped down onto the black couch, sighing.

 

It was two weeks before Christmas. Most people around this time of the year are thinking about what food they’ll be cooking for their loved ones, what gifts to get their significant others, where the tree will sit in the house, all that bullshit capitalism holiday garbage. And usually, Michael would be thinking the same. But this year, there was only thing- well, person- on his mind:

Gavin Free.

He tried to blame it on the stupid Brit at first. He’s the one with all the charm (sorry Geoff) of the Fake AH Crew. That’s his damn specialty, of course Michael would be enamored with it! Everyone else was! Well, he thought everyone else was until he realized that that little spell Gavin sets on most people wears off within the first day of knowing the asshole. Looks like that wasn’t the case for him, who’s going on four years of being mesmerized. 

He only realized it three days ago, though.

“Michael! Can you help me with the lights over the backdoor?” Trevor called to him. He rubbed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on.

“Yeah yeah get me a ladder and some nails.” Trevor slid the ladder over to the glass doors, grabbing the string of rainbow glowing bulbs. Michael slowly climbed up, taking a nail. 

“Are ya gonna hammer it in with your head?” Trevor teased. Michael flipped him off, stepping back down to get the hammer off the coffee table.  
“Geoff!!! How did you tangle the lights in your beard ya knob?!” Michael turned around to be greeted by a very frustrated Geoff and a very giggly Gavin. His heart skipped a beat at the wheeze Gavin let out as he gently pulled at Geoff’s beard. 

“Ow! Asshole that hurts!” Geoff snapped, earning another wheeze from Gavin.

“Michael get a load of this!!” He said, locking eyes with the auburn-haired man. Michael could feel the warmth trying to creep its way up onto his cheeks, and he turned slightly in response, keeping his head low. 

“Fuckin’ idiot.” He said. Whether it was about Geoff or himself, he couldn’t quite tell.

“Stop hanging ornaments on me fuckface! I’m not a fuckin’ tree!” Gavin’s laughter continued as Michael climbed back up the ladder, and he couldn’t help but groan at it.

That laughter was what started his downward spiral into hell, after all. 

 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t heard Gavin’s squeaky squeal of a laugh before. In fact, he’s probably heard it the most out of everyone in the house. Gavin seemed to find him the most funny (not that he was bragging). 

But, last Friday, during a slow night of drinking and playing board games with the crew, it seemed to sound just a bit more warm than usual. The type of warmth that knocks the buzz right out of you, where the whole world stops spinning and all you can focus on is the bubbly feeling that’s now pouring out of you as you come to terms with the fact that you’re falling in love with your best friend.

Michael left for bed early that night and all he dreamed about was kissing Gavin. 

 

“Earth to Michael!” Trevor yelled, waving a nail in his hand. He sighed, realizing he had been hammering the same spot for a solid minute. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, stepping down a rung to grab the nail from the other man. 

Suddenly, his balanced faltered as his foot missed the rung. He barely let out a “shit” before he felt two warm hands grip him by the waist. 

“Jesus Michael! You alright?” Gavin asked. Michael’s hands clenched around the ladder. 

_Absolutely not._

“‘M fine.” He let out breathlessly. Gavin’s hands burned into the sides of him as he cautiously made his way down the rest of the ladder. He let out a long held breath as he felt them drop away from his waist. They returned however, to spin him around, and hold him by the shoulders all too sweetly.

“You scared the shit outta me.” Gavin said, his tone different, perhaps more caring, more gentle, more...loving? 

All it took was that word to send Michael headfirst into Mush Town, population him and his dumb stupid fucking Gavin-loving heart.

He glanced everywhere, to Trevor (whose hands were still covering his mouth in shock), to the floor, to the tree, to anywhere but Gavin as his face heated up. He looked to Jeremy, whose shit eating grin and leftover tears from laughing only made the situation worse. Gavin stepped forward, barely giving Michael enough room to breathe, and reached up, cupping his face.

Michael wished he’d fallen off the ladder. Maybe it would have knocked some common sense into him.

“Are you sure? You’re red.” Gavin said softly, and- _oh my god he’s stroking my cheek with his thumb._

Jeremy’s laughter filled Michael’s ears as he shoved Gavin’s hand away with another, completely not fine, “I’m fine.”

He stormed off, slamming the bathroom door as he entered it. Gavin stared off into the hallway, a concerned expression plastered on his face. 

“What the hell was that about?” Ryan asked, walking into the living room with a box of decorations.

“Michael almost fell off the ladder. Gavin luckily was there to catch him.” Trevor said. 

“Is he okay?” 

Another loud cackle from Jeremy.

“I think so, maybe it just scared him?” 

“Maybe he had a scared poop,” Ray started, following Ryan in. “Ya know, a lil dingleberry just poking it’s way through. Ran off to clean it. It’s okay buddy! We’ve all been there!” He called down the hall. Ryan sighed, placing the box down, getting back to decorating. The rest of the crew followed suit, all except Gavin. His gaze lingered on the hallway for another moment. 

“Gavin?” Trevor asked. He held up the string of lights that Michael failed to hang.

“What? Oh, yeah, I’ve got it.” He said, giving one last glance before he walked over to the blonde.

\--- 

Michael paced across the kitchen floor. He glanced over to the clock, his tired eyes barely being able to focus on it.

2:47 a.m. Another sleepless night.

Michael thought that coming to terms with his feelings for Gavin would make things a bit easier. If he’d stop denying it and shoving it away like some unwanted pest, maybe he’d be able to function with it. Accept that yes, his best friend looks absolutely stunning in that purple tee shirt, gawk for a moment (or several), then go about whatever he had to do for the day. 

What the fuck was he thinking?

Actually, he can answer that. It’s Gavin. All Gavin.

The stupid British boy has now consumed his thoughts.

He can’t listen to Geoff’s heist plans, can’t play videogames with Ray, can’t go food shopping with Jack, and everything else he was able to do has now been halted by those pestering thoughts of dating your best friend.

Michael looked over to the Christmas tree. It’s twinkling lights danced across his eyes, each sparkle a new color. He frowned.

And as for holiday spirit? Forget about it. The only spirit he feels right now is his leaving his body every time Gavin smiles at him.

It doesn’t help that Gavin lives under the same roof as him. He’s been trying to spend more time with Michael, he knows it. He knows that he’s been brushing him off a lot lately with half-assed excuses that Gavin knows are pure bullshit. He feels bad, he does, but it’s hard to play a round of Destiny or go out and rob a string of gas stations when you can’t even look the man in the eyes without blushing. And if he even dared to think about holding Gavin close to him on a cold December night, taking him out to his favorite restaurant as their both dressed to the nines, or wondering what it would feel like to kiss him, it’d be game over. Would it be warm? Would his lips be chapped or smooth? Would he taste of coffee, or peppermint? Is he even a good kisser?

God, he wanted to throw up. 

He groaned, grabbing his now cold cup of coffee and took a sip.

“If you’re waiting for Santa you’re about a week early. But, props to your enthusiasm.” A voice said, causing Michael to jump and almost drop his cup.

“Jesus Ray, you scared the shit outta me!” Michael said. Ray shrugged.

“What’s up, dude?” He asked.

“Just uh- making something to drink. Woke up. Thirsty.”

“No, I mean what’s been up with you? You haven’t been even close to yourself lately. And don’t say you’re fine. I can tell when you’re lying. Like just then. That- that was a lie.” Michael shifted on his feet.

“Seriously, there’s nothing wrong-” He started.

“Another lie.”

“Ray, come on. I’m not fuckin’-”

“You just keep lying to me. I’m hurt, actually. I thought you loved me.”

“Shut up-”

“All these years I thought our friendship was built on truth but that’s also been a giant lie.”

“Alright alright!” Michael slammed his cup down on the table. “ If I tell you what’s wrong will you shut the fuck up?!” He yelled, giving no caution to the others sleeping in the house. Ray smiled and nodded. 

“It’s-it’s Gavin.” Michael shifted his weight again. He rubbed his hands together, his eyes darting everywhere but to Ray. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Ray asked. Michael’s eyes stopped at his own feet.

“Nothing...I just...he’s...” He reached out a slightly trembling hand and gripped onto the back of one of the breakfast bar seats.

“I think...” He let out a breathless laugh. Every conversation he had with Gavin, every dream with Gavin, every single time Gavin smiled at him or looked at him or breathed near him made Michael’s head spin, heart pound, stomach fill with butterflies, and any other generic as shit description about being in love. He felt everything. And he wanted to hate it. But he just...couldn’t.

“No, I fuckin’ know...I’m falling in love with Gavin.” His stomach flipped.

Yup, he was going to throw up. 

He stumbled over to the sink and dry heaved a couple times. Who knew that admitting feelings to a person you don’t have feelings for could make you so sick? God, if he ever worked up the courage to tell Gavin he might die. He stared at the drain, slightly hoping that he’d puke up all the stupid flying bugs in his stomach. Maybe he wouldn’t feel this way about the goddamn idiot if they were gone. Ray walked over and placed a gentle hand on his back.

“Dude, take it easy. It’s not a big deal. I already knew you had the hots for him.” Ray said calmly. Michael heaved once more, letting the butterflies nest in his stomach for now. He turned around slowly, leaning up against the sink for support.

“What?” 

“Those goo-goo eyes may go unnoticed by Gavin, but not me. Or anyone else in this house for that matter.” Ray said plainly. Michael sucked in a sharp breath.

“Everyone else knows too?!” He snapped. He knew he wasn’t the most discreet when it came to hiding his feelings, so it wasn’t shocking that Ray caught on so quick, but everyone else? Fuck me. 

“Dude, you’re painfully obvious. Gavin is just oblivious to anything that isn’t himself. We all figured it out pretty easily. But I gotta admit, I totally thought you were into me at first. Frankly, I’m a bit hurt by it not being me.” Michael laughed, feeling some of the uneasiness lift off his shoulders.

“Seriously! What does that British bastard have that I don’t? I’ve got looks, I’ve got charm, I’ve got a big dick-well, if you squint and use your imagination. C’mon, I’m everyone’s favorite loveable Puerto Rican!” Ray said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Jeremy’s more lovable than you and he isn’t even Puerto Rican.”

“Fair enough. So, what are you gonna do about this?” Michael shrugged.

“Sit in silence until the stress kills, probably.” 

“No you’re not. You’re gonna tell him.” Michael shook his head quickly. He thought about telling Gavin before, sure. He’d love to just go up to him and monologue about how beautiful he is and everytime he thinks about him he just wants to kiss his body from head to toe, not leaving a single inch because Gavin is the most radiant man he’s ever seen inside and out and he deserves to know that every day of his life. Then they would make out passionately and get married and live happily ever after like the dreams he’s had. But, they were just that, dreams.

“Why not?” Ray asked.

“He’s not interested in me, dumbass. He’d laugh in my fuckin’ face if I told him the truth.” Michael said, the sharpness in his tone faltering. He’s thought about rejection too, way more than he’d like to admit. He’s even had nightmares about it. Him finally working up the balls to tell Gavin and him either laughing or punching him or even running away, probably to throw himself off a cliff or some shit. Then he’d be left to lead a lifetime of loneliness because he’ll never be able to get over him. And he’d rather not make those nightmares become reality. 

“Now that’s some bullshit.” 

“Gavin hasn’t been serious about someone in YEARS. He sleeps around with anyone who has pulse. He loves his one night stands too much to give ‘em up, especially for me.” Michael sighed. 

“You don’t know that.” Ray replied, crossing his arms. And it’s true, he didn’t but fuck, it’s a lot easier to believe that then wistfully hoping Gavin’s going to come and sweep him off his feet to la la land. 

“I do.”

“No, you don’t. And that’s why you have to tell him. You can’t sit here in limbo expecting an answer to fall out of the void. It doesn't work like that. And, if you think it does, well I hope you enjoy missing your damn chance. He will move on and find someone else and then you’ll be the one eating your own shit.” Michael slumped slightly.

“He can’t move on from something he never felt.” The sharpness in his tone was back, radiating from the pang in his heart. He crossed his arms, turning his head like a pouting child. Ray stared at him, a hard expression on his face. 

“Stop.” He finally said. Michael looked at him.

“Stop what?”

“Acting like you’re some big fucking tough guy. Like you know everything that’s going to happen between you and him so you’re doing yourself and the whole world a favor and avoiding it. Stop acting like you don’t care. Because you do. A lot. Don’t you?” Ray finished. Michael’s eyes darted down, his stance still strong.

“Exactly. So stop lying to yourself. Tell him. Give yourself a fighting chance at happy.” Michael’s fists clenched. He wanted to punch something, a pillow, a wall, maybe himself. He slammed his arms down to his side and glared at Ray. 

“It’s easy for you to say, asshole! You’ve got Ryan wrapped around your fuckin’ finger and you haven’t even made a god damn move on him!” He yelled.

“Do I? I don’t think I do.” Ray said matter-of-factly. Michael huffed.

“Oh please, everyone can see it! The whole house knows that if one of you just got some balls and did something, you’d be with each other and happy as fuckin’ clams!” 

“I don’t see it. I don’t stand a chance, Michael.” 

“You can’t say that, Ray! You haven’t even tried!” Michael yelled, stepping forward, his finger pointing dangerously close to his face. Ray raised his eyebrows, leaning back slightly. The anger that Michael had deflated. He slowly lowered his hand, stepping back.

“Fuck you.” He said. Ray smiled.

“You don’t know what could happen,” Ray started, his tone softer. “He could say he feels the same and you’ll go off and fuck in a bush or he’ll say he doesn’t and you’ll pick yourself up and move on to someone else. But either way you’ll have an answer. And having an answer is a hell of a lot better than sitting here and going grey over it. So tell him, Michael. You’ve got mine and everyone else’s support no matter what happens.” He finished. Michael sighed again. He leaned his head against the cabinet and closed his eyes. 

God, he hated when Ray was right. Michael didn’t know. But he wanted to know. He wanted to know if he’d be able to hold Gavin’s hand as they walked around scoping out new heist locations. He wanted to know if he’d be able to curl up close to him and fall asleep after a long stressful day of fuckery. He wanted to know if he’d be able to kiss him on a rooftop underneath the stars while they watch a building go up in flames. As cliche as it was, he wanted to rule Los Santos with Gavin by his side, partners in crime and kings of chaos. 

“Okay.” Michael said gently. Ray clasped his hands together.

“Good. Do it before Christmas.”

“What?! Why?”

“Because I know you and you’ll put it off for another year.” 

“Oh, so when he rejects me I’ll be miserable this Christmas, instead of next.” Michael countered. 

“Yup. And then you’ll hate Christmas and become Jewish and then I’ll finally be able to wear my Hanukkah sweater unironically.” Ray smiled wide, sticking his thumbs up. Michael rolled his eyes, unable to kick back the chuckle.

“You’re an asshole.” He said. 

“That you love!...Not as much as Gavin, maybe around the same as Geoff, but I’d like to think more than Ryan.” 

“Oh my god. I’m going to bed.” Michael said. He walked over to the counter, placing his now iced coffee in the sink, gently nudging Ray as he walked to the stairs. 

“And uh...Thanks, Ray. You helped a lot.” His voice was small, as if he was trying to keep a secret. Ray patted his back once.

“No problem. Remember, Christmas.” Michael waved him off, stepping onto the first stair before turning around.

“Maybe you should listen to your own advice sometime.” He said, disappearing into the darkness of the staircase. 

\----

 

Michael carried a couple of plates over to the sink, yawning as he turned on the warm water. Another small yawn escaped his lips as he washed a plate.

The Fake AH Crew annual Christmas party was a complete success. He didn’t doubt that it wouldn’t be, but the bigger crowd was a lot more intense than he expected. Between the full crew, some family members, and even Fakehaus (whose appearance was...less than planned, to say the least), the house was packed with hungry and excited guests. The days leading up to the party were just as hectic, and the energy couldn’t stop tonight. Michael’s exhaustion finally caught up to him as he poured more soap onto the dish that he just washed.

“Fuck...” He sighed, placing the dish back into the sink. He rubbed his eyes with his arm. The party wasn’t the only thing that exhausted him, however.

He had been planning to tell Gavin how he felt this week, he swore of it. But, between Jack needing extra hands in the kitchen, Jeremy forcing him to help Trevor decorate because he was “Sure as hell not going to deal with that diva”, Geoff wanting to squeeze in as much January heist planning as possible, and well, his own cowardness, it just didn’t happen. Now it’s 30 minutes to midnight on Christmas Eve and Gavin still had no clue that Michael was into him. He groaned. He’s glad he denied Ray’s bet a couple of days ago. He would have been depressed and out 100 bucks. On top of it all, there just never seemed to be a good time to admit that he wanted to make out with his friend. Besides, even if he did feel the moment was right, what would he say? Michael didn’t even come close to thinking about that part. He didn’t want to look like a dumbass and stumble over every other word, but he didn’t want it to be so rehearsed that Gavin would think it was a prank and he’d laugh in his face. It had to be natural, calm, and confident, which, he was none of when it came to this. He finally picked the soapy dish back up and stared at it. Bubbles slid down the ceramic front, plopping into the sink.

“I’m fuckin’ pathetic.” Michael said, moving the plate to the running water.

“What are you doing up?” Gavin asked, making his presence known. Michael jumped at the voice, the plate slipping out of his hands. It crashed into the sink, the noise rattling both of them. Michael snapped his head around, grabbing his chest. People love to sneak up on others in this house, don’t they?

“Jesus fucking Christ, Gav!” He yelled, earning a chuckle from the other man.

“Sorry boi! Didn't mean to scare you!” Michael rolled his eyes, turning back to the sink. Gavin walked over and stood behind the shorter man. Michael felt his warm body press up against his own, and he tilted his head down, trying to hide the fact that his entire internal system was shorting out. Gavin was silent, watching as Michael cleaned that same damn dish for what, the third time now? He wasn’t keeping track anymore, all he could do was focus on the very attractive man pressed up against him. All Gavin was doing was standing there, but for some reason Michael’s heart was in his throat. He swallowed hard, forcing it back down into his chest so he could speak. 

“Are you going to stand there or are you going to dry this off?” He said, a lot more softly than intended. Gavin snapped out of his own trance, mumbling an “oh yeah” as he reached for a towel and the plate.

 

The duo finished up the dishes in silence, Gavin more adamant about the dryness of each dish, and Michael trying not to throw up. Yeah, that seemed to be a trend anytime he was around and/or thought of Gavin. Michael was sat on the couch now, letting his thoughts consume him for a moment. Half of him hoped Gavin would just get a drink or some shit and go to bed, leaving him alone to wallow in self pity for the rest of the night. But, the other half would be lying if it didn’t say that he wanted him to stay. He’s missed the company of his boi. A lot. It’s his fault of course, avoiding the man like the plague at every chance he could get. Even at the party, when Gavin would try and talk to him or offer him shots, he’d quickly decline, using his typical half assed excuses for the tenth time and disappear into the crowd. Now that he looks back at it, he wished he had gotten smashed. Would be hard to talk to him if he was puking his brains out. He wrung his hands, popping a few knuckles in the process. 

“Here, boi.” Gavin said, walking over to him. He turned around.

“What’s this?” Michael asked.

“Hot chocolate.” Gavin said with a smaller smile than usual. Michael avoided his eyes as he took the cup from his hands, the warmth feeling nice against his slightly cold fingertips.

“What are we, children?” He bantered stiffly. Gavin sat down next to him and nodded.

“For tonight, yes.” He took a sip, the whipped cream forming a white mustache on his upper lip. Michael laughed as he watched him try to lick it off, missing a spot in the corner. The auburn haired man sighed, reaching over and wiping the cream off with his thumb. His hand lingered for a moment, gently cupping the other’s face. Gavin stared at him, and Michael swore he caught a glimmer of something in his eyes. His heart raced, and he ripped his hand back as if he touched a hot stove. He quickly took a sip of his drink, the cocoa burning his mouth and throat as he swallowed, but he figured it might keep him from spilling his heart out for a few moments longer so he took another sip.

“Did you have fun at the party?” Gavin asked, slicing through the tension. Michael could feel his eyes on him, but he continued to stare at the melting whipped cream.

“Yeah. It was...Fun. Fakehaus was there...” Michael made a mental note later to slap himself for stating the obvious. 

“Yeah they were...’M shocked Geoff let them come.”

“I don’t think he had much of a choice when they busted in.” A small smiled formed on Michael’s lips as he remembered Geoff’s face when Bruce came tumbling through the window. He was thankful that Jack insisted on taking photos of everything.

Silence washed over the duo again, lingering for what felt like hours. Usually, Michael would have a million and two things to say to Gavin. And well, he still did. But it wasn’t anything he was ready to just blurt out. Gavin must have felt the same weight in the room that Michael did as he started to fidget in his seat.

“So, what are you doing up? You never answered me.” Gavin asked again. Michael shrugged.

“Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Really? You weren’t exhausted after tonight? The week hasn’t caught up with you yet?” He was, and it absolutely had. But there was no way in hell Michael was going to get even a glimpse of a good night’s sleep with the amount of thinking, and overthinking, he was doing at night. 

“Guess not.” Michael said. Gavin nodded, but he could tell he wasn’t satisfied with that answer. He wouldn’t dare poke at it again, however. Michael knew that. 

More silence. Michael crossed his leg, wiggling it. He leaned forward, then back, trying to find a comfortable spot. He couldn’t take it anymore. He hated this. The tightness in the air was strangling him. If he didn’t break for air now, it was going to kill him. 

“Gavin-”

“Have I done something wrong?” Gavin interrupted. Michael’s warm brown eyes darted to Gavin’s face. It was not quite somber, but he could see the sadness that peeked behind his eyes. God, he wanted to sock himself in the face for ever making Gavin feel that way.

“What?” Michael finally said, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“You haven't really...talked to me lately. And, when you do, it’s quick and snappy and...” He paused a moment, looking down at his cup.

“I know I piss you off a lot, but I-I don’t know what I did this time. I mean, I could be reading into this...But you’ve seemed so off and I’ve been worried and...It might not be me...But if it is you-”

“It’s not.” Michael said. Gavin quietly ran his finger around the rim of his cup.

“But-”

“Gavvy, look at me.” And he did. What Michael didn’t expect was the punch in the gut from the unfamiliar puppy-like state that Gavin was in that sent waves of guilt crashing through him.

“None of this is you.” Michael said. His heart hammered in his chest. He didn’t realize how close they were sitting together, and he certainly didn’t realize that his already shaking fingertips were dangerously close to Gavin’s. When did he put his drink down, anyway? Why did he just scoot closer? Why did he just get the urge to grab his hand? Michael’s head spun.

“You’ve been on my mind so much lately. I can’t seem to get you out of my head...” Michael started. There was no turning back now. His mouth was working faster than his brain and his heart was racing faster than both of them combined. 

“Your eyes, your laugh, your smile...everything...Every time I’m near you I feel like I’m going to explode...butterflies or some shit or throw up and it makes it really hard to look at you, let alone talk to you...You’re so bubbly and wonderful...abosolutely fuckin’ adorable...and every other good word that I cannot think of right now because it feels like I’m about to fuckin’ die...I just...” Michael’s stomach lurched into his throat, joining his heart. He wouldn’t dare look at him.

“I want to hold your hand and cuddle up to you at night and just- fuck, Gav, I want to kiss you so fuckin’ much...I’m so fuckin’ terrfied and confused and I’m sure you're going to think I’m a fuckin’ idiot but...I’m falling in love with you, Gavin, and that’s all I know.” Michael finished. He let out a shaky breath, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. Still, he couldn’t move a muscle. It was done. The cat’s out of the bag. Gavin knows he has a massive dumb stupid fuckin’ crush that’s way more than a crush on him and that’s that. He took a moment to steady his breathing. He finally looked up at him, gripping the side of the couch. 

His expression was unreadable, and Michael’s heart sank. Well, there goes the friendship. And any hope of normalcy in the house. A lifetime of loneliness and sorrow await him. He hoped that Gavin would now chime in with that adorable squawky laugh and ask him if he’s just joking, to which Michael would of course reply yes with the best fake laugh performance he’s ever given and everything would fall back to normal, with Gavin sleeping around unaware of Michael’s love and Michael pining for the rest of his pathetic, miserable life.

But that wasn’t happening.

Gavin was leaning forward.

Michael sucked in a sharp breath.

Gavin’s lips connected with his, setting off the most intense display of those cliche-ass internal fireworks he’s ever felt through his chest. His whole body short-circuited as he finally moved and kissed him back. His lips were warm and softer than he imagined, and tasted of hot chocolate. He felt the other man cup his face gently, pushing more into the kiss. It was long and sweet, and Michael didn't want it to end because he feared he’d just wake up from another one of his dreams. 

But as they parted, only straying inches away from each other, with Gavin’s hand still resting on his cheek, Michael realized that this was reality.

The best damn reality he could have.

So this time he leaned in.

Michael captured Gavin’s lips with such a force that it sent the two tumbling back onto the couch, with Michael hovering on top. He deepened the kiss, feeling Gavin’s hands run over his back. Gavin grabbed the sides of his shirt as Michael flicked his tongue into his mouth. He was beautiful, Michael thought. He was beautiful and hot and and amazing and warm and incredible and radiant and Gavin. He was Gavin and that’s all Michael needed him to be. 

Michael was the one to break this kiss, with a small whine of protest from Gavin. He giggled, unable to hide the bubbly feeling in his body. Gavin giggled too, moving one of his hands to stroke Michael’s face. He leaned into the touch, not being able to get enough of him.

“You’ve been...wanting to do that for a while, haven’t you boi?” Gavin said, breathless. Michael smiled, his face flushed.

“Fuck yes.”

“So have I.” Those three words sent Michael back down to kiss him, this time a lot gentler. They pulled apart once more and gazed into each other’s eyes. Michael wanted to soak up every feature, every moment. The way Gavin’s pupils were blown out, only exposing the corners of his gorgeous blue-green eyes. The way his hand was soft as it stroked over Michael’s freckled cheek. His lips being red and just a dash swollen, making Michael wanting to dive down and take them again. Every little inch of Gavin’s body he wished to snap in his mind, never wanting to forget this moment.

“Let’s both fall together, ‘ey?” Gavin asked. Michael refused to submit to the choked up feeling he had, so he just nodded and let out another one of those breathless giggles. Gavin was falling too. They were both just two idiots falling in love. 

And that’s all they needed to be.

\---

After about a half hour of laying there, catching each other up with their own lives, Gavin slipped out from under Michael. He extended a hand to him.

“So Michael Jones, will you be my...BOIfriend?” Michael rolled his eyes as Gavin laughed at his own joke.

“Oh my god.” The shallow annoyance in his voice was quickly overrun by a large smile. Gavin took his hand and pulled Michael to his feet. He bent down and planted a warm kiss to it, causing Michael to groan jokingly. He bent back up and pulled him into a tight hug. Michael hugged him back, taking in the warmth for as long as possible. He could smell the remnants of Gavin’s cologne as he buried his head into his shoulder, and sighed in content. Gavin let out a big yawn, causing Michael to chuckle.

“Tired?” He asked.

“Absolutely. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in weeks!” Michael lifted his head.

“Why?”

“Because I couldn’t stop thinkin’ of ya, babe!” Gavin said. Michael’s heart skipped at the nickname, and he buried his head again, trying to conceal the blush that blasted across his face. It’s been less than five minutes and he’s already whipped.

Who’s Michael kidding, he’s been whipped for four years.

“Oooh, did I get you flustered, Michael?” Gavin teased. 

“Fuck off.” Michael said, shoving him back.

“I did! Awe, look at your adorable tomato face!” Michael stuck up his middle finger and walked away.

“You can’t leave me already! We haven’t even made it Facebook official!” Gavin said, chasing after the man. Michael shook his head, but smiled as he felt Gavin take his hand in his. He pulled him close, his breath thick against Michael’s neck.

“And you’re certainly not spending tonight in your own room.” He purred, his voice low. Gavin reached down and grabbed Michael’s ass, causing him to let out a tiny gasp. He turned around, raising a sly eyebrow at him. Before Gavin could protest, Michael dipped down, nipping slightly at his neck, causing him to let out a breathy moan. _Woah. Now that sounded nice._ Michael chuckled dryly, shifting slightly as he headed up the stairs, leaving Gavin in the dust.

“You better be heading towards my room!” Gavin said, not too loud as he didn’t want to wake anyone. Michael barely hit the top step with his foot before taking a right down the hallway, a grin plastered on his face.

\---

Michael slowly woke up, rubbing his eyes as a bit of sun peeked through the curtains and shined into them. He stretched out his arms, letting out a big yawn. Suddenly, a wave of anxiety rushed over him, jolting him quickly out of the sleepy state.

Was last night just a dream? He panicked for a moment, wondering if he had fallen asleep on the couch or made it back to his bed. He reached over, grabbing his glasses and put them on. He blinked a few times, letting his eyes adjust as he sat up. He glanced around the room. 

Large gold curtains draped over the windows, one moving slightly from the heater’s breeze. The large TV was off, with a gold controller hanging dangerously close to the edge of the stand. He shook his head, his eyes moving next to him.

Gavin was sound asleep, wrapped up in his satin gold sheets. One leg dangled out from them, his toes peering over the edge of the king bed. His breathing was steady, and Michael watched as his chest rose and fell soundly. The anxiety drained completely as he brushed his fingers through Gavin’s dark honey brown hair, being careful to not wake him. He leaned over and planted a soft kiss to his forehead, before getting up. He walked around the room, grabbing his boxers and pj pants and slipped back on. He grabbed his undershirt and put it on as he adjusted his glasses. He wandered past the bed, picking up the condom wrapper that was thrown onto the ground, and tossed it out. Michael sighed, grabbing Gavin’s boxers and his own pj shirt that he decided against wearing and folded them neatly, leaving them at the foot of the bed. He grabbed Gavin’s pj pants and tossed them in the laundry basket, knowing they were unwearable now. Finally, he pushed the controller to a safe distance away from the edge, and headed out of the room, being careful to not slam the door. 

Michael was the first to be up, which wasn’t shocking considering how drunk most of the crew was last night. He quickly made up a pot of coffee for everyone, setting up the appropriate Christmas mug for each (with a few bottles of water and Advil beside them). He reached into the cabinet and pulled out two packs of hot cocoa and mixed them up quickly. He made his way back upstairs, flicking on the tree as he did so. 

As he set the cup down on Gavin’s side, he smiled. It had felt like this past week was a daze, a complete fog that almost destroyed Michael. If someone had told him this time last year that he’d be leaving hot cocoa for his boyfriend Gavin that he had just spent the night with, he would have laughed in their face and probably told them to fuck off. For the first time in a long while, he felt giddy. His heart was light, and he felt like he was walking on air. Man, did he owe Ray a huge thank you.

\----

Michael didn’t have to wait long downstairs before the rest of the crew came in. Jack was the second awake, bumping into Michael as he exited Gavin’s room. He didn’t say anything, but the grin on his face spoke it all. As Jack started prepping breakfast (with Michael’s help), Ryan was next. He walked up to the duo, a smile brighter than usual as he grabbed out the plates for everyone.

Geoff was down next, practically chugging the coffee before yelling out a “Merry Christmas assholes!” to everyone. 

Trevor half stumbled down the stairs, groaning as he grabbed for a bottle of advil.

“Rough night buddy?” Geoff teased.

“I blame Jeremy and Jeremy only. Never let that man pour you drinks...Fuck me.” He groaned again, downing two pills with a bottle of water.

Jeremy followed soon after, walking up to Michael first. He rose an eyebrow at him, and Michael couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh, roll his eyes, and shove him towards the rest of the group. 

Jack handed each person a plate filled with all the best breakfast portions. The group gathered around the tree, sitting wherever there might be a space.

“Now it’s a race to what diva wakes up first.” Geoff said, taking a bite of his bacon. 

“Well, Ray’s been awake, he’s just showering.” Ryan said. Geoff rose an eyebrow.

“Someone got laid last night.” He said. Ryan shoveled a forkful of eggs into his own mouth. Michael snickered.

Ray walked down next, giving a warm “Merry Christmas” to everyone. His smile was bright, and Michael’s giggling grew louder.

“There’s a plate of food for you on the stove underneath the napkin. If it isn’t warm just pop it into the microwave!” Jack called to him. He nodded and headed over to the kitchen. Jeremy watched him as he walked by, doing a double take at his outfit. 

Only the corners of his boxers peeked out from under the extremely oversized familiar green tee shirt he was wearing. Jeremy let out an overly dramatic gasp.

“You DID get laid, didn’t you Ryan?!” He yelled as Ray walked into the living room. The crew erupted into cheers and laughter as Ryan ducked down sheepishly. Ray sighed and tried to slip past the crew, but Geoff couldn’t help but give him a congratulatory slap on the ass as he walked by. He plopped down next to Ryan, his blush strong. Michael turned to the new couple, a smug grin on his face.

“Shut. Up.” Ray said before Michael could utter a word. He shrugged.

“What? I was only going to say I told you so.” 

“You have no room to talk, ya fuckin’ chicken.” 

“Don’t I?” He asked, his smug face softening, being replaced with a warm grin. Ray’s eyes widened.

“You didn’t-” 

“Merry Christmas lads!” Gavin cheered. Michael’s eyes moved to the man, his heartbeat beginning to pick up. His hair was slightly disheveled from sleep, and he let out a yawn as he gripped the cup of cocoa in his hands. Michael couldn’t help but gawk at how amazing he looked in his sleep shirt, it being a bit oversized on Gavin. It hung loosely around his frame, and he let out a small giggle as he noticed part of it was tucked into his boxers. 

“Hey fucker I’m Jewish!” Geoff yelled, earning a squawk from the British lad. Jack slapped his arm to silence him.

“Already got your coffee, I see?” Jack said. Gavin shook his head.

“Nah, hot chocolate.” He glanced over to Michael, giving him a thankful smile. He quickly grabbed his breakfast and made his way to the auburn-haired man. He sat down next to him.

“Mornin’, Michael, Merry Christmas.” He said fondly. Michael’s eyes twinkled.

“Mornin’ boi. Merry Christmas.” Gavin sat his plate down next to him, a hesitancy in his eyes. Michael could feel the crew’s eyes on them, and he smirked.

“C’mere, asshole.” Michael said, wrapping his arm around the man’s waist. He pulled him close and kissed him passionately, using his free hand to cup Gavin’s cheek. The crew erupted into another round of cheers.

“Fuckin’ finally!” Geoff yelled. 

“Why was I the only one to not get laid last night what the fuck?!” Jeremy said, crossing his arms. Michael chuckled, breaking the kiss. He gave Gavin’s nose a quick smooch before leaning over to Ray.

“Thanks, dude.” He whispered. 

“Nah, thank you.” He replied, taking Ryan’s free hand in his. He turned to Michael and smiled. He smiled back, then focused his attention to Gavin. He pulled the man onto his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist. He rested his chin on Gavin’s shoulder.

“Can we please open presents now?” Geoff asked.

“Yes Geoffrey.” Jack replied, handing him a gift. Michael felt Gavin lean his head against his own, and he was unable to hide his big goofy grin for the rest of the day.


End file.
